This blog is a follow-up to my original blog post on Surface vs. Real Communication.
I highly suggest reading it first, then come back here to follow-up more.
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Your Mind.
Your Mind.Take a look at the above image of the iceberg.
Notice the small 10% showing above the water, and the enormous 90% below water.
The top 10% is your conscious mind, and the bottom 90% is your unconscious mind.
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Here is another metaphor:
Imagine your conscious mind as a simple ruler...
Now imagine your unconscious mind as the size of the earth...
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I think you get the idea so far. So lets break this down, and plug it into my blog on Surface vs. Real Communication.
Conscious Mind:
The point of awareness your mind has. It is very simply, and only, awareness.
We understand that the conscious mind is severely limited. Science has proven that, at any given moment, the capacity of the conscious mind is about 7 +/- 3 bits of information.
(so, 4 bits minimum and 10 bits maximum)
A bit is any one thing you can remember, like a digit in a phone number, or an attribute of someone you just met. You can keep a full 7-digit phone number in your short-term memory for as long as you consciously focus on it.
However, as soon as you focus on new bits of information, without having first internalized (memorized) the phone number, you'll forget most or all of it.
Unconscious Mind:
The warehouse of you mind. Everything that you experience gets stored here. Everything you consider as "you" is stored here.
Neural Network in your unconscious mind warehouse.
The unconscious mind is everything to you. Your memories, your life story, your personality, your habits, your beliefs, your desires, your emotional connections, your thoughts, your past and future, your self, ANYTHING... its here.
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There is a big problem with the way most people communicate. They funnel and compress their infinite unconscious mind through their finite conscious mind.
This is what we call spoken language, written language, any form of code used for communication via the senses.
Its like trying to measure the earth using only a ruler. Or looking at an iceberg above water to measure its size.
Can you see the severe limit here?
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So how do we better communicate with one another? Simple. Use real communication instead of surface communication.
You're probably saying "but, what do you mean? How do I do that?"
The thing is... the more simple you make this, the more effective you are. There is nothing complex to do here.
Some starting suggestions to use real communication:
After you've tried this, you'll know exactly what I mean by the separation between surface communication, and real communication.
Notice the small 10% showing above the water, and the enormous 90% below water.
The top 10% is your conscious mind, and the bottom 90% is your unconscious mind.
-------------
Here is another metaphor:
Imagine your conscious mind as a simple ruler...Now imagine your unconscious mind as the size of the earth...-----------
I think you get the idea so far. So lets break this down, and plug it into my blog on Surface vs. Real Communication.
Conscious Mind:
The point of awareness your mind has. It is very simply, and only, awareness.
We understand that the conscious mind is severely limited. Science has proven that, at any given moment, the capacity of the conscious mind is about 7 +/- 3 bits of information.
(so, 4 bits minimum and 10 bits maximum)
A bit is any one thing you can remember, like a digit in a phone number, or an attribute of someone you just met. You can keep a full 7-digit phone number in your short-term memory for as long as you consciously focus on it.
However, as soon as you focus on new bits of information, without having first internalized (memorized) the phone number, you'll forget most or all of it.
Unconscious Mind:
The warehouse of you mind. Everything that you experience gets stored here. Everything you consider as "you" is stored here.
Neural Network in your unconscious mind warehouse.The unconscious mind is everything to you. Your memories, your life story, your personality, your habits, your beliefs, your desires, your emotional connections, your thoughts, your past and future, your self, ANYTHING... its here.
-----------
There is a big problem with the way most people communicate. They funnel and compress their infinite unconscious mind through their finite conscious mind.
This is what we call spoken language, written language, any form of code used for communication via the senses.
Its like trying to measure the earth using only a ruler. Or looking at an iceberg above water to measure its size.
Can you see the severe limit here?
-----------
So how do we better communicate with one another? Simple. Use real communication instead of surface communication.
You're probably saying "but, what do you mean? How do I do that?"
The thing is... the more simple you make this, the more effective you are. There is nothing complex to do here.
Some starting suggestions to use real communication:
- Make solid eye contact. Keep it there.
- Dont speak. Stay quiet.
- Dont move. Remain fully still.
- Stop thinking. Be present now.
- Notice everything in your peripheral view while still looking ahead.
- Visualize reaching out to the person.
- Look at the other persons left eye (facing them, its on the right).
- While looking straight into the eye, look as if looking through their head.
- The trick here is, just get in there and do it.
- Test this out with a good friend, someone you have a more deep connection with already.
- Dont be weirded out. The first time you do it, it might seem weird. Keep going.
- Get consent of the other person first, you might freak them out.
- Do it as long as you can. If you start to snap out of it, try stretching, looking around, then start again.
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After you've tried this, you'll know exactly what I mean by the separation between surface communication, and real communication.
