A new perspective in my life.

Every so often as I'm hiking through the wilderness of my life, I happen upon a mountaintop vista, overseeing miles and miles of expansive areas that lay behind me in life and that lay ahead of me in life. The fullness of this view is so vivid that I stop to write anything I can from this perspective, for reflection and release, before hiking up further.

This blog post is from my current perspective.

6 months ago there was a spark in my life that began me up a spiral of the most pre-unfathomable growth I have ever now experienced.

I go through "cycles" in my growth, phases if you will, on my way up. I repeat a set of about 5-7 phases throughout my weeks of living life. Recently, my cycles have been morphing drastically.

The below list describes my perspective when I'm in a 'different' phase of my growth cycle:

1. Feelings of confusion & being lost.
2. Slowly feeling less confusion as the dust settles.
3. Coherent understandings slowly start appearing.
4. A sense of base-grip on whats occurring.
5. New transformative perspectives on X, Y, & Z in my life now.
6. Breakthrough metaphorical explanations of my experiences in life.
   
7. A wholistic and complete feeling, and living life in full release.

It makes sense that I would cycle back through to phase #1 again. When I'm full release mode, and I do that for long enough, all of a sudden I realize "holy crap, theres alot inside me that was there before but isnt now... and then I realign back to my deepest truth again, and the cycle literally goes at default human speed again, instead of the too-slow-being-held-back-by-resistance phases.

Also, there are some less frequent entries of certain phases I go through during a full cycle. Note, each one of these normally comes at the #8 position of the cycle, or whatever is last if any base phases aren't present.

1. (every 2-5 full cycles) A deep pocket of motivation wells up and I take brute force control of my life for a while.
2. (every 4-6 full cycles) A big whammy of a day comes at me, stacked high with challenge in every way shape and form.
3. (every 5 cycles) I feel such an intense sense of happiness and belonging that I would be ok with dieing right now.
   

Then go back to #1 in the very beginning again.

Whats interesting is... I used to have a stage in the cycle, between #1 and #2, that was attributed with intense resistance, stress, struggle, and pain.

But not anymore... After 3 years of repeating this cycle over and over, somewhere about 6 months ago that phase just started dissolving away. And now its so far gone that I experience that phase perhaps every 10-15 cycles in small intensity.

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Good news to me, now I can focus all my attention on repeating the cycle more and more, without debilitating pain, to finally reach my deepest truth in life.

That day 6 months ago, I had a breakthrough... I was in the resistance stage of that cycle... except this time it was so intense, my entire being was overwhelmed to such an extent, it was life or death...

And death occurred... the biggest, most complex, most 'me' part of me died that day.

My mind.

It died as the sole definition of "me".
And it was born again as a tool for the real me to use.

Ever since then... I've been experiencing such radical, profound, intense, transcendental, enlightening experiences... that I couldn't even fathom with my mind before that death.

Below is a list of the most notable experiences that I've had recently:

1. Realization of my own deep masculine core.
2. Deeper awareness of my own awareness and self identity.
3. New and deeply profound perspectives on everything.
   
4. Discovery and intense enjoyment of my 'edge' in life.
5. Confidence that is unshakable and true.
6. Motivation and determination that are unstoppable.
7. Such intense presence in any moment that I literally feel I could die happy right now.
   
8. Evolution of my social connections with both genders.
9. Realizations and removals of limitations I was previously blind to.
10. Energy that keeps me going for hours upon hors of exertion.
11. Muscle growth through the roof.
12. Metaphorical flow that so very well describes anything I want to share.
13. Huge increase of people coming to me for perspective.

And a list of other notable abilities I've gained since that day:

1. Detailed visions and creative ideas.
   
2. Intense emotional explosions, leading to release.
   
3. More expansive understandings of life.
   
4. More lively social connections with people.
   
5. Liberation of any limitation I become aware of.
   
6. Playful attractiveness with lots of women.
   
7. Resilience to any intense chaos that comes at me.
   
8. Confidently powerful with my guy and girl friends.
   
9. Evolved in my organization and mental placement of thoughts.
10. Improved messages spoken by inner voices (self).
    
11. Completely appreciative of everything I ever get and have.
    
12. Laser-sharp focus on anything requiring it.
    
13. Deep relaxation of future, knowing it will definitely work out.
    

These are all just to name a few. There are still going to be some things that I cannot express with words, even this list itself is simply to offer an objective rough draft to you of my current experiences.

But really, this is all a very complicated way of saying something very simple:

I am growing.